Please tell me a few jokes that are 100% funny!

Alright, I can tell you a few jokes! Why do starfish like to dance? Because they like to dance at the bottom of the sea and feel like the most beautiful dancers in the world. Why do policemen like to eat hamburgers? Because they liked to grab hamburgers and felt like the greatest constables in the world. Why do pigs like to sing? Because they liked to sing " Humph, Humph, Haxi " and felt like they were the most talented singers in the world. Why do rabbits like to run? Because they like to run " rabbits " and feel like the most agile athletes in the world.

The first time I met my wife, she told me that she had a dream: to become a rich woman and support me. I told her,"My dream is to become a billionaire and support you." She looked at me in surprise and said,"How could you have such a dream?" "Because I already have a billionaire, I just need to find another billionaire and we can start." A bird flew to a new place and found that there were many animals here. So he asked a rabbit,"Why are you so happy?" The rabbit replied,"Because I just ate a fly on the grass and now I have no job!" 3 Someone went to the interviewer and asked him,"What do you think are your shortcomings?" The man replied,"I think I'm too honest." The interviewer asked,"What's wrong with that?" "I don't think there's anything wrong with that," the man replied. The interviewer said,"I agree with you, but that's not a flaw." The man replied,"I don't care what you think." A wolf went into a sheep pen and asked the sheep,"why are you alive?" The sheep replied,"We are raised by you." The wolf said,"No, I'm here to rob you." A man was trapped on an island. He caught a bird and a rabbit and prepared to cook them into a delicious meal. He asked the rabbit,"What do you want to eat?" "I want to eat carrots," the rabbit replied. He asked the bird,"What do you want to eat?" The bird replied,"I want to eat rabbits." The man immediately released the rabbit and the bird flew away. A man went to the bank to withdraw money and was waiting in line. He saw a man dancing in front of the counter. He asked the bank clerk curiously,"Why don't you throw him out?" The bank clerk replied,"We can't kick him out because he's our new ATM." A man was lost in the desert. He saw a camel and asked the camel for directions. "You're going the wrong way," said the camel."This is the route to the oasis." The man said,"That's great. I happen to have a thirsty kettle. Can you bring it over for me?" The camel replied,"Of course, but you have to promise me that if you go to the oasis, I will bring back all the water for you." A man was trapped on an isolated island. He caught a bird and a rabbit and prepared to cook them into a delicious meal. He asked the rabbit,"What do you want to eat?" "I want to eat carrots," the rabbit replied. He asked the bird,"What do you want to eat?" The bird replied,"I want to eat rabbits." The man immediately released the rabbit and the bird flew away. 9 A person went to the interviewer and asked him,"What do you think are your shortcomings?" The man replied,"I think I'm too honest." The interviewer asked,"What's wrong with that?" The man replied,"I don't care what you think." The interviewer said,"I agree with you, but that's not a flaw." "I don't care how you feel," the man replied. A man was trapped on an island. He caught a bird and a rabbit and prepared to cook them into a delicious meal. He asked the rabbit,"What do you want to eat?" "I want to eat carrots," the rabbit replied. He asked the bird,"What do you want to eat?" The bird replied,"I want to eat rabbits." The man immediately released the rabbit and the bird flew away.

1. A woman and her boyfriend are dating. Boyfriend: Your hairstyle is so unique! Girlfriend: Where? Boyfriend: Just like a lion! Girlfriend: Ah! No, you're my lion! One day, Cao Cao brought his son Cao Ang, his brother Cao Hong, and his favorite Sima Yi to a bar for a drink. Cao Cao said,"The lights here are very suitable for the four of us to illuminate our lives together." Sima Yi thought for a moment and said,"Why don't the four of us light up the bar together!" In an interview, the interviewer asked,"If you were considering whether to give up your mother tongue, what language would you choose?" One candidate replied,"I will choose English because if I give up English now, I may have to give up my mother tongue in the future." Interviewer: (silent for a moment) Then he said, You are still far from passing the interview. Don't think about this question for now. Xiaoming went on a trip and saw a fish in a hotel. It could actually talk! It said,"Hello, this is a hotel. I can't swim. Can you throw me out?" One day, Tang Sanzang and his disciples met a rabbit on their way to the Western Paradise to obtain Buddhist scriptures. "Are you a rabbit?" Tang Sanzang asked the rabbit. The rabbit replied,"No, I'm a monk." "Then are you Tang Sanzang?" The rabbit replied,"No, I'm a rabbit." Tang Sanzang thought for a while and finally couldn't help but laugh."Aren't you talking nonsense? Of course you know you're a rabbit!"

Of course! Here are a few super funny jokes: A bird flew into an orchard and saw a sheep lying on the ground, so he asked the sheep,"why are you lying here?" "I'll wait for the apples," answered the sheep."They haven't fallen yet." The bird asked,"Why don't you bite the grass?" The sheep replied,"I'd better wait for the apples to fall. They're much tastier than grass!" 2 A person went to the interviewer and asked him,"What do you think are your shortcomings?" The man thought for a moment and replied,"I think I'm too honest." The interviewer asked,"What's wrong with that?" The man replied,"I don't think there's anything wrong with that because I told you honestly." The interviewer was silent for a while and then said,"I think your biggest shortcoming is that you're too honest." A rabbit walked into a bakery and asked the bakery,"do you have carrot bread?" "No, we only have bread and desserts," replied the bread master. The rabbit left. The next day the rabbit went into the bakery again and asked,"do you have carrot bread?" "I told you yesterday that we don't have carrot bread," replied the bread master. The rabbit left again. On the third day, the rabbit came again and asked the same question. This time the bread master was a little impatient and said,"I told you yesterday we don't have carrot bread, not today, not tomorrow, and if you ask me that again I'll stuff your ears with carrots!" The rabbit left again. On the fourth day, the rabbit came again and asked,"Do you have any carrots?" "No," replied the bread master. The rabbit asked again,"Do you have any carrot bread for your ears?" I hope these jokes will make you laugh!

An example of a funny twist is as follows: 1 "Why do some people live as if they are dead?" "Because when they were alive, there was no one like you who was alive." " I used to think that I was someone who could control my snacks until I opened a bag of chips and became a potato chip glutton." " I used to think I was cool enough to do everything by myself. Until I met my girl and became a lonely fool." " I thought I could save the world until I met the girl who belonged to me and became a helpless savior." " I used to think that I was strong enough to fight against the whole world. Until I met the girl who belonged to me and became a fragile single dog." These jokes all contained some funny elements that made people laugh through unexpected twists.

An example of a joke suitable for elementary school students is as follows: 1 A bird flew to the high-voltage power line. Another bird flew and said,"Are you okay?" The bird said,"It's okay. I'm insulated." There was a child named Li Lei. He went to the shop to buy candy. He asked the boss,"What kind of candy do I want to buy?" The boss replied,"Do you want to buy candy?" "No, I want to buy 'Xi Zhi Lang'," said Li Lei. A man ran to the police station to report the case. He said,"Officer, my son stole his cell phone and threw it into the sea." The policeman replied,"Okay, we'll get your phone as soon as possible." The man said,"No, I'll wait for him to come back and then I'll help him pick up the phone." One day, a snail went to see a doctor and the doctor asked it,"Do you have any problems?" The snail replied,"What questions do I have?" I only have one shell." The doctor replied,"Do you have any other questions?" The snail said,"I have no other questions because I only have one shell, so I only have one question." He hoped that these jokes would make the children laugh.

Alright, here are a few classic cold jokes: Why can't pigs go online? Because it was always searching for " how to shop online." Why do bears always fall? Because they were too fat. Why do rabbits always make nests? Because they didn't want to sleep in the trees. Why can't monkeys go online? Because they were always searching for " how to be smart." Why do chickens always sing? Because they were playing "Chicken Run" on the dance machine.

A young girl was praying and said, 'Dear God, if You can't make me a better girl, don't worry about it. I'm having a great time like this!' It's a humorous take on a child's prayer. She's so honest and carefree in her communication with God.

Joke: I'm on a 30 - day diet. So far I've lost 15 days. Story: A girl decided to go on a diet and she threw out all the junk food in her house. But then she realized she had thrown out her roommate's stash too and had to deal with an angry roommate.

There are many funny jokes to refer to: A bird flew into an orchard and saw a sheep lying on the ground, so he asked the sheep,"why are you lying here?" "I'll wait for the apples," answered the sheep."They haven't fallen yet." The bird asked,"Why don't you bite the grass?" The sheep replied,"I'd better wait for the apples to fall. They're much tastier than grass!" 2 A person went to the interviewer and asked him,"What do you think are your shortcomings?" The man thought for a moment and replied,"I think I'm too honest." The interviewer said,"What's wrong with that?" Honesty is the greatest advantage of humans." The man asked,"Do you think I'm an advantage?" The interviewer replied,"No, you're a flaw." 3 A duck went to buy lipstick, but he bought three. The first one was painted red, the second one was painted blue, and the third one was painted yellow. As a result, his friends asked him,"What color did you paint today?" The duck replied,"I don't know. I just bought it randomly." The friends said,"Aren't you afraid of wasting so many colors?" "I'm afraid I can't find a color that suits me," said the duck. A man was trapped on an island. He caught a bird and a rabbit and prepared to cook them into a delicious meal. He asked the rabbit,"What do you want to eat?" "I want to eat carrots," the rabbit replied. He asked the bird,"What do you want to eat?" The bird replied,"I want to eat rabbits." The man asked,"Then why did you catch a bird and a rabbit?" The rabbit replied,"I just wanted to see if they could eat carrots at the same time." One day a bear walked into a bar and asked the owner,"do you have carrot juice?" "No, we only have beer and spirits," replied the bar owner. The bear asked,"Do you have a carrot bar?" "Of course not," replied the barman."We only have Bear Bar."