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A novel written by a friend, please give me your opinion.

2024-08-29 19:51
Someone wanted to study human potential, so he built one at the bottom of a forest. There are a total of 5 floors deep in the low-lying research institute. The power behind this research institute is very large. They were all prisoners sentenced to death and some babies who were sold to the hospital by their parents. researcher Through the needle, a very fine potential is triggered to transplant the instrument into the human brain, but all along, None of them could successfully trigger the potential of humans. ----------------------------------------------------------- Feng Yuanzong: Are you guys transferred from the third floor to the second floor? Fan Rong and Shang Qi answered at the same time,"Yes!" Fan Rong: The order from the top is to let the two of us be in your group from now on Feng Yuanzong: How long have you been in this organization? Shang Qi: We've been in it for three years Feng Yuanzong: In just 3 years, you can advance to the second floor. The younger generation is indeed formidable. Fan Rong: I dare not. Dr. Feng is the deputy director of this research institute. We're still insignificant Feng Yuanzong was speechless. I'm already 38 years old this year. I'm old. I can't be compared to you youngsters anymore. The three of them burst into laughter. ---------------------------- [Fan Rong: This baby was a failed experiment subject yesterday.] Feng Yuanzong: Take out its internal organs and sell them to the hospital. Shang Qi: What! It's just a baby. Do you have to be so cruel? Feng Yuanzong: Haven't you seen babies do experiments before? Shang Qi: Yes, but I never knew what to do after the experiment failed. Feng Yuanzong: This has always been the way to deal with failed experiments. Fan Rong: So is our department responsible for selling the internal organs to the hospital? Feng Yuanzong: That is handed over to the department on the next floor Fan Rong: I see. Feng Yuanzong: Why are you asking this? Do you really want to go out? Fan Rong: No, I'm just curious. Feng Yuanzong: No need to hide it. Almost everyone who joined this department has asked me this question. Shang Qi and Fan Rong suddenly paused. Feng Yuanzong: Nine out of ten people who join this organization are forced. Shang Qi: So, Deputy General Manager, were you also forced to do this? Feng Yuanzong: I was invited by the manager. We were classmates in university. [Shang Qi: So the Deputy General Manager and General Manager are classmates!] Feng Yuanzong: Don't always call me Deputy Director! Just call me Old Feng. Fan Rong: Old Feng sounded very friendly. Feng Yuanzong: Back to the topic, the department here is responsible for inspecting the test subjects brought in from outside and checking if their physical condition is normal , and then carve a number on their left chest. With the number, it will be easy for us to do things. Of course, after the experiment failed, the failed product would be The internal organs were taken out and sold to the hospital. Do you understand? Fan Rong, Shang Qi: Understood -------------------------------- Shang Qi: The second floor was already very close to the ground. Fan Rong: Yes. Shang Qi: We worked hard to climb to the second floor. Fan Rong: I heard that if you want to leave this low-lying research institute, you must have the pass of the director or deputy director Shang Qi: We've been with Deputy Manager Feng for two years, but he never asked us to do anything. Fan Rong: In retrospect, we were forced to join this organization for research for five years. Shang Qi: I don't want to stay here anymore. I really want to leave this damn place. Fan Rong: Be patient! There will be a chance sooner or later. Shang Qi: Yes Please give me your opinion. Will this writing work? It doesn't matter if you say it directly. Anyway, I didn't write it. Hahaha!
1 answer

Of course, I can give some advice to your friend's novel! Here are some suggestions that might be useful: 1. Decide on the theme and plot of the story. The theme of the story should reflect the feelings or thoughts your friend wants to express, and the plot should attract the reader's interest and push the story forward. 2. Leave enough room for the character to develop. The readers would usually put themselves in the characters in the novel, so it was very important to give the characters enough room to develop. Your friend can spend more time describing the character's inner thoughts, emotions, and growth. This will allow the reader to understand the character more deeply. Pay attention to writing and language. Your friend can use more vivid and vivid descriptions to make the characters and scenes more believable. At the same time, he had to pay attention to the use of language and try to avoid using overly stiff or unnatural vocabulary and expressions. 4. Keep the story coherent and complete. The plot and character development of the story should have a clear logical order and maintain the overall integrity. This way, the reader can more easily follow the story and better understand what your friend is trying to say. I hope these suggestions will be helpful to your friend. I wish the novel will be written better and better!

I'll Give You a Large Family

I'll Give You a Large Family

[MULTIVERSE / CROSSOVERS / HAREM WITH DEVELOPMENT] After understanding the secrets of his bloodline from his new system, Leo couldn't help but let out a defeated laugh remembering his first love, still happiness overflowed from his voice. "Hahah..." Leo opened his eyes and looked at his older sister still breathing heavily in his arms, and thought with a smile, 'Fine, this time we'll be one big family' Follow Leo on his journey through the multiverse in search of his women and adding many of them along the way. ______________________________________________________ WARNING: - First 10 chapters are introductory, in Leo's original world, who is still unaware of magic and everything related with other worlds, so there will be no action but it will still show Leo's development and his first women. - This story is slightly tragic, so harden your heart a little before you start reading. ______________________________________________________ You can read 10 advanced chapters here. Thanks for your support! https://www.patreon.com/Marplayon ______________________________________________________ 1. Original world / High school DxD / Seishun Buta Yarou 2. Martial Peak / Shinmai Maou no Testament 3. Mushoku Tensei / Gobling Slayer / Tou No Kanri O Shite Miyou (Let's Manage The Tower) 4. Gotoubun / Hajirau Kimi ga Mitainda (I Want To See You Embarassed) 5. Dungeon ni Deai (DanMachi) 6. A Will Eternal 7. The Beginning After The End 8. Magic Emperor _____________________________________________________ Tags: Milfs | Harem | R-18 | Incest | Multiverse | No-beta MC | No Clons | Dimensional Chat
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Milady, Your Identity Please!!?

Milady, Your Identity Please!!?

She is a spy who always hid her real identity in front of everyone that she meets. She may be an assistant. She may be a businesswoman. She may be a student. She may come in anyway possible in front of you but you cannot recognize her the second time you meet her. However she may come, everything is a mask that covers her real identity which is something very mysterious. He is an emperor of the Entertainment Industry but that was just his stress-buster from being the real Emperor of many Industries that were under his name. While acting in his film, he suddenly came across his first love who was supposed to be a poor scholarship student during their school times, now acting as an assistant to his co-star with her real age changed. Why? He didn’t care. He lost her once but wouldn’t the second time. She avoided him but he used the people around her to get more closer. She changed the identity again but he recognized her again too. “So what if you change your identity? You were mine and you would always be mine. The only identity with which I will see you as is my wife.” Read the story to find how she manipulates everyone around her to get her task done while he does everything to get her to his side. A combination of sweet romance, mystery, action, comedy and everything else you need would be presented with a beautifully decorated platter. *** Talk to me (author), interact with fellow readers, catch a glimpse of sprinkled spoilers and most importantly BASH THE LAZY AUTHOR and force her for more updates by joining the discord server: https://discord.gg/k66qXaWMuD *** P.S.: The cover do not belong to me. I'll remove it if said to me... *** Want to energize this pitiful author with a cup of coffee? Provide a coffee here: ko-fi.com/leorote
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